Every family has one dish that only one person knows how to make, and no recipe that survives them. We spent a month collecting three of them, in kitchens in Ipoh, Melaka and Kuching.

Mdm Chen, 78, makes a Hakka braised pork belly with yam that her granddaughter has watched for years and never measured. The measurements below are our estimate after three attempts — the dish is forgiving, and the aim is that the version in your kitchen tastes of your family's version.

The Hakka braised pork, as reconstructed

  • 500g pork belly in 4cm pieces, blanched and drained
  • 300g yam, cut in wedges, fried until the edges set
  • 3 tbsp dark soy, 2 tbsp light soy, 1 tbsp rock sugar
  • 5 cloves garlic, thumb of ginger, 2 star anise, 1 cinnamon stick
  • Water to just cover; braise low for 90 minutes, yam added in the last 25

If there is one piece of advice worth acting on from this piece, it is to record your own. Point a phone at the stove, ask why each step happens, and get the quantities in writing while the person who knows is still there to answer questions. It is the only part of this that cannot be redone later.

Questions readers ask

Where can I find the original versions of these recipes?
Nowhere authoritative — and that is the point of the piece. These are family dishes passed on by demonstration, not published recipes, and the quantities above are our reconstruction after cooking alongside each cook. Treat them as a starting point and adjust toward the version you remember.
How do I record a recipe from my own family?
Cook it with them and weigh as you go, because hand measures mean nothing written down later. Ask why each step happens rather than only what goes in — the reason is what lets you rescue the dish when it goes wrong. Then record a short video, since technique is easier to copy than it is to describe.

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